Life lesson 101:
You can never truly gauge the depths to which you can sink, until you actually sink. Therefore, do not judge.
I had spent almost an entire year without praying. What? Why? How? I can only vaguely recall. It initially began as excuses of having a busy schedule, assignment submissions, game practices, parties and finally tiredness from all these. But slowly these excuses transformed into matter-of-facts. Deep within my heart, I knew I needed to pray, I needed my quiet time with God, but, I refused to acknowledge it. I took God's Grace for granted. And so, the journey downward started, spiraling down and down. My journey down the slippery slope was indeed, slippery: from small excuses to small acts of a mischievous child, to mighty acts of defiance.
I knew in my heart that God was watching me, and that He would be disappointed to see that I had fallen below my own standards. But I cared more for the world. I let Him down before the watching world. I.. was enjoying the plenty, the life of indulgence, forgetting that God had brought me to this land of plenty. Well not forgetting, but ignoring. Apart from all this, I was judging others who were no different than me!
Until today, that is. I can only say God woke me up at 4.30a.m. (I usually wake up not before 10 a.m), and then there was a great desire to read the Bible. I obeyed. And then I cried, understanding the depths to which I had sunk, where I was a year before and where I am now.
Ultimately, it is God who lifted me up. God made me realize my "errors and willful sins". I can only say, thank You God for making me realize that we are all very weak and easily misled by the world. It is only You who can guide us and safely take us to our destination.
You can never truly gauge the depths to which you can sink, until you actually sink. Therefore, do not judge.
I had spent almost an entire year without praying. What? Why? How? I can only vaguely recall. It initially began as excuses of having a busy schedule, assignment submissions, game practices, parties and finally tiredness from all these. But slowly these excuses transformed into matter-of-facts. Deep within my heart, I knew I needed to pray, I needed my quiet time with God, but, I refused to acknowledge it. I took God's Grace for granted. And so, the journey downward started, spiraling down and down. My journey down the slippery slope was indeed, slippery: from small excuses to small acts of a mischievous child, to mighty acts of defiance.
I knew in my heart that God was watching me, and that He would be disappointed to see that I had fallen below my own standards. But I cared more for the world. I let Him down before the watching world. I.. was enjoying the plenty, the life of indulgence, forgetting that God had brought me to this land of plenty. Well not forgetting, but ignoring. Apart from all this, I was judging others who were no different than me!
Until today, that is. I can only say God woke me up at 4.30a.m. (I usually wake up not before 10 a.m), and then there was a great desire to read the Bible. I obeyed. And then I cried, understanding the depths to which I had sunk, where I was a year before and where I am now.
Ultimately, it is God who lifted me up. God made me realize my "errors and willful sins". I can only say, thank You God for making me realize that we are all very weak and easily misled by the world. It is only You who can guide us and safely take us to our destination.
"But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression." -- Psalm 19:12-13 (NIV)
Let this be the prayers of our hearts.
Amen!
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